My three year old loves to jump into my arms. She will stand on just about anything and jump to me. She trusts, fearlessly, that I will catch her. Sometimes when she jumps, I quickly lunge to catch her because her trust in me nearly exceeds my ability to reach her! She seems to trust explicitly in this area. If I say, “jump”, then jump she will, and I had better be ready to catch her.
In other areas though, she resists trusting me. She becomes clearly agitated in large crowds, new environments, when her routine changes, when her tummy is empty or when she doesn’t get her way. In these cases, her trust in me waivers and she can become hostile, aggressive, strong-willed and disobedient. In fact, she often does expressly the opposite of what I say in willful defiance. At this point, reasoning becomes useless. Reasoning with my melted down three-year-old is like reasoning with a wind up toy. She just has to spend herself out.
This partial trust in me can be frustrating. Haven’t I taken care of her every need since the day we picked her up? Haven’t I fed her meals and snacks every day, multiple times a day? Haven’t I kissed away her tears, kept her warm and prevented her from all sorts of disasters? How can she still not trust that I will take care of her?
How can I still not trust that God will take care of me?
There are times when my faith has been unshakable, when my trust in God and His provision have helped me to soar high above the circumstances in my life . . . times when I jumped, certain to be caught in His loving embrace.
I am sorry to say that at times my faith waivers and I allow fear or uncertainty to overtake me. In those times, I respond in disobedience. I take matters into my own hands and act by sight instead of by faith. My shortsighted forgetfulness eclipses my view of God’s sovereignty and his past abundant supply. Instead of believing that He will take care of my every need and orchestrate all things for my good and His glory, I panic. I only see the present circumstance. I forget how He has been with me in the fire time and time again. I neglect to remind myself that He has brought me through every trial and that He will never leave me or forsake me.
By watching my daughter, I have learned that trust and obedience go hand in hand. I cannot obey when I do not trust. However, obedience is natural when I do trust. So, in fact, disobedience is an indicator of lack of faith. Oh Lord, I believe! Help my unbelief! How can I not trust Him who willingly gave His own Son, Jesus Christ, in my place to pay the price I should have paid for my sin? Thanks be to God for His patience, love and mercy that I do not deserve. I pray that God will help me to walk by faith and not by sight. I pray that whenever He says jump, I will jump, with the assurance that He will catch me.
“Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the word of His servant? Let him who walks in darkness and has no light trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God.” Isaiah 50:10 ESV